Wednesday, November 9, 2011

I think the Elves are up to no good

As we enter the holiday season, Dexter has been getting us prepared by inserting the novelization of the Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer cartoon into the bedtime book rotation. Early October is never too early to be thinking about Santa when you are four.

This book sucks for a variety of reasons, the most heinous to me is that the pictures are cartoon illustrations inspired by the Rankin Bass animation, but not actual STILLS of the cartoon itself. Also, they play a little fast and loose with the dialogue as if it's not licensed, and they are staying just on the right side of the law which makes the whole thing a little stilted to read aloud.

None of this matters to the child, who clearly has no taste or standards.

So after repeated readings, what has become very apparent to me is there is a gigantic corrupt coverup going on at the North Pole.

One of the plot points is Rudolph floats off and ends up at the Isle of Misfit Toys, who request that Rudolph put in a good word with Santa if he ever makes it back alive.

From the beginning of the story, we are to understand that Elves Make All The Toys. Therefore, they must have made the misfit toys and secretly dumped them on this remote island to cover up their ineptitude. Is Santa even aware this is going on? And why was the dolly even there? She looks fine!! And why is Aslan in charge? And why can't they leave? Is it the Hotel California of Toys? Steve suggested the Island of Dr. Morrow.

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